“On Holiday at the Beach”

Well as I was still on the road to recovery, the powers that be invaded my home and it resulted in an “Immense Pressure.” The pressure at home and also close to home at the condo just kept building up, despite all the improvements and progress that I had made.

I finally had it up to the tilt and decided to leave Bangkok and my family because it was too destabilizing, with no sign that whatever I did would abate the pressure.

It was a high risk venture. Going off like that could signal an emotional breakdown that could land me in the nut house. Worse still, for the past 10 years it was a tight little family in tight little spaces. I literally had no idea how I would do being away from all my emotional connections to my family. But all I knew was that I was tired of all the crap and craziness around me and that I wasn’t going to find a solution to my problems in a place that I was being constantly abused and jerked about.

I had to get away. I left the condo at about three in the morning, and drifted to the building that housed the small room that my wife, our baby and me lived some 10 years ago.

I sat there and remembered all the good things we did for each other and swore that no matter what I became, I would not loose my love for Pookie and Tammy. After that I drove to Bang Saen, a quiet beach town with lots of tourists and nature. A perfect environment to ease the psychological impact others were playing in my head. Or if I had gone insane again and there were really no mental and mind games being played on me, at least the beach and the nature would help calm my nerves and put me back together.

What ever the reality was, as I left, I began to communicate with a few people who had been shown to have great wisdom and experience in life. That included my American Uncle, Jon, my sister Tracy, my former wife Pam and my new found editor friend Kung. These four people were my connection to sanity and reason as I would explain to them what was occurring as I left my family and familiar environment. They inturn, as I expected and got, would give me their best advice.

On the second day of the trip, after what I thought were lots and lots of mind games still being played on me as my detractors finally caught up with me, I headed away from Bang Saen, having soaked up all the nature, peace and as much solid mental functionality as I could. It was a break I needed, knowing from the start that my detractors would have a great many difficulties controlling the environment of Bang Saen.

I headed to a juncture and going right was Bangkok and going left was Cambodia - my final destination as then I figured I needed to seek political asylum in a foreign country to escape the Thai pressure and prosecution. I went left, heading for Cambodia, but something rang in my head and it was the commonality in all of those four people’s advice to me. And the commonality was “take care of your responsibilities.”

That meant my family’s finances and also my mother who was in the ICU for pneumonia and wanted to see me.

But I still played my mind games and very much addicted to winning still. So I played my mind game as to convince myself that I needed to return to my family.

And the mind game I played on myself was: I figured Pookie wasn't a dumb person and was actually quite intelligent and mature at that, so whatever deal she had cut with those who were pressuring me, my proven demonstration of independence had taught her a lesson about priorities.

Then with the others that were putting on the pressure, my temporary separation from the family must have been a shock - since it was they who were directly responsible for Tammy having no father to live with. And they must have realized that there were places like Bang Saen where I could escape their influence.

There thoughts turned me back to Bangkok to give it one more chance.

But seriously, underlying those moves was still a Terry who was playing mind games with other people, himself, and was someone who didn ’t know how to lose.

These were still on the list of things to resolve once back in Bangkok but Pookie and the overall environment of Asoke had calmed down. I went about getting rid of those two things that were the foundations of all my problems since some 10-15 years ago.

I realized tagged.com/tavivoot would have to stop and the “Dragon” be left alone. So in the days and weeks that followed it was “Enter and Exit the Dragon.” The Dragon after all lives in reality all over the place, not really in the cyber world of the internet.