“Thai Intelligent News Takes Off Big”

By this time Thaksin had finally lost his grip of the Thai government and was in real danger of not being able to return to Thailand permanently and having the wealth he had built up all his life taken away. Like me, he was betrayed by his closest friend who split his people away from Thaksin’s party to form his own party and after the Yellow Shirts occupied the airport, finally defected to join the Democrat Party in forming the government.

Thai Intelligent News, being English obviously was extremely dangerous for the powers that be. For a long time, foreigners who looked at Thailand would complain that they read the country’s two main English newspapers, but still they didn’t understand what was occurring. Now there was a site that told them exactly what was going on - explicitly. And I was also urging my readers to contact US congressmen and a host of other activities.

My normal hit was about 400-500 a day and the site was being syndicated to a great many other sites. Many readers were Thai off course and Thais who are able to read English are generally outward looking and highly educated. So to sum it up, I had to be stopped at all costs.

And this was the first time I was in physical danger. A guy out of nowhere for example, and for no reason, intentionally picked a fight with me. He literally grabbed hold of my throat with one hand and yanked the other back in a serious striking pose and was about to hit my face. I was lucky and escaped, but what got me freaked out a little is that he said, “Foreigners have no right criticizing Thailand.”

My mental condition was deteriorating as the pressure built up for me to stop Thai Intelligent news, and it came from all corners, even the ones who loved me greatly. My life was in total ruins. The only thing that was going was Thai Intelligent News, and a sense, very deep inside, that I was changing personally for the better. However, the pressure just kept mounting.

I live at a condo around Asoke road, and even the people at the condo knew I was a staunch Thaksin advocate. The hatred of me was everywhere. And the hatred turned into actions and psychological warfare resulted.

My immediate surrounding environment turned hostile and very unreal - meaning mental games were played on me. Those games drove me to the edge of my sanity. I was also on the path of losing weight rapidly, as my finances demanded I focus on the weight loss money from my father. All in all it was a time of great pressure of all types. I literally was on the verge of cracking up again as I had done some 10-15 years ago at my father’s resort, Holiday Park.

And then my actor friend cooked up a big gathering and t as before was cooking up all sorts of ridiculous stories and facts to throw me off track and off balance. I went along with his games. At a gathering, for example, my actor friend created a show that was all about shattering my character, putting me down, and destroying my resolve. It was a show, put on for many to see, that was to demonstrate what a crazy and ridiculous person I was.

It was an attempt to destroy Thai Intelligent News - to show how stupid and dumb I was.

Well no one needs to tell me how stupid and dumb I was because even with being on the verge of cracking up and going crazy again, I was just so dumb and stupid that I just kept Thai Intelligent News going.

But deep down, in my soul and spirit, I held back, not joining the fight for Thaksin. To understand that period, you have to visit thaiintelligentnews.wordpress.com and read the article I wrote about Kennedy’s famous words that “One should not think what the country can do for you, but what one can do for the country.”

There I explained for the first time, why I was spiritually distanced from Thaksin’s fight and how my soul, never really joined in the fight for Thaksin or for the good of Thailand. But to sum it up, risking one’s life and sanity for the country and Thaksin, was just purely an insane thing to do.

For a very long time, going back some 10-15 years, people who knew me have told me that it was important to think of oneself first - before the country and others. That is just the way of the world. That also meant if you can’t take care of yourself, how can you take care of others.

Thai Intelligent News was heading for a gotterdammerung, and I knew it.

Perhaps those who wanted to stop me were going to win after all, but I still kept Thai Intelligent News going and going- thinking on my own, however, that I had lost my fight with schizophrenia again. That is because I just kept the blog going. That was truly an insane thing to do.

The question I just kept asking was do I care enough about Thailand, democracy and Thaksin to be killed or injured for those convictions. The answer any sane person with his full mental capacity running would be of course “No.”  Many people, such as Ji Ungpakorn, a fierce Socialist who fought hard with the coup, have exiled themselves out of Thailand. But I was still here, taking the pressure.

At about this time I started to solve my own rubic cube and tore the puzzle apart by first clearing up my religious conviction.

And what I concluded was that Christianity results in too sensitive people and that Buddhism is just running away from emotions. I finally figured out what some people have been saying for centuries, including my father, who told me since I was young that, “The best way to be, is be yourself.”

And myself, the part of “being” myself, was crying out and I finally ended up at the American Independent Institution and read its famous quote of a famous journalist during WW2, that, “War is the Health of the State.”

It meant that who ever wins was really bad for the individual as the state and its power have always gotten bigger at the expense of individuality. So that was my intellectual, psychological, and emotional way out of being involved in Thai politics. And that meant a way to put an end to Thai Intelligent News. My war in Thailand, I finally saw,no matter who won, would give birth to a more powerful state.

As a result of that realization, I left the Thai political scene, but it was on my own terms and my own reasoning - pressured to do so or not. After that, I lost track of Thai politics and kept no track of it.

People told me that Thaksin and his supporters were planning a climatic march on the government to bring it down. I told the person who intentionally fed me the news that, “All I can do now is wish them well, as I am on the road of self-improvement, and no longer political.” The person who intentionally told me the news is the wife of a tank commander. I suspect she is just a simple spy for the military.